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Everything in Balance

For those of you who think that I am one of those enlightened people who is so in control of my own emotions and never effected by stress, I have news for you. I am a human being, and however much I may think I am in control of my own life, there are often obstacles which challenge me on many levels and make me react in a way which causes distress to myself and those around me.

When something like this happens I really have to question why I reacted in that way and how it could have been different.

Something happened to me on Friday, which forced me to stop and think.

I have hyper mobility of some of my joints and this can give me varying levels of discomfort and is one of the factors which has contributed to arthritis.

When I was younger, I was your classic ''gym bunny'' and was pretty obsessive about the amount I trained.  With the need of the daily adrenalin fix of my workout, together with body dysmorphia, and added to that, the fact that I worked in the fitness industry, I know this has not helped my problems I have now.

I took up Yoga at a very difficult time in my life when I was suffering from depression. Not only was I too weak to participate in my usual Fitness regime, but I felt a need for something which would not only make me feel physically great, but help my stress levels.

To begin with my practice was slow, but I felt the benefits immediately.

Having previously been drawn to anything with a very dynamic nature, I was drawn to Ashtanga Yoga.

Repeating patterns of the past, I took it to an extreme, and not only practiced it daily, but often 4 hours in a day. Where Yoga promotes strength and mobility to the body, my obsession, gave me permanent muscle fatigue and caused many repeated injuries.

Having worked in the fitness industry all of my life, I know more than anyone that muscles need rest and it is actually in this resting phase that we truly experience all the benefits of our practice.

So going back to Friday. I fell whilst walking the dog because of my ''stupid messed up ankle''. More than any discomfort, was the fact that I felt so embarrassed and extremely aware of people judging me. Added to that, my knee has not felt great for a couple of weeks, and I just felt completely out of control of my body. 

When you are the owner of a Wellness studio, you feel pretty embarrassed when your own body goes wrong. I have always tried to take care of myself and stay healthy and reasonably fit, whilst trying to run my business.

Once I went home to rest my ankle and knee, and have time to reflect, I realised that I should practice what I preach!

I have been teaching Yin Yoga and Mindfulness now for some time. This is an amazing practice to restore and reconnect. It is also a practice which enables those who are less able physically, or even those in need of a way to reduce stress, to enhance their existence.

Yin and Mindfulness begin with acceptance of who we are teaches us to let go of the past and leave judgement behind. 

I spoke to a very dear friend of mine today and she confirmed what I really know is true.

So I have joint issues, but nobody judges me on that, and the fact that I have never let my issues stop me from maintaining a certain level of fitness, is an inspiration to anyone.

I, for one, will always have Yin and Yang Yoga, together with mindfulness in my life. 

Even if I get to a stage where the dynamic becomes less available, I always have my breathing!